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How to tell you are a French Bulldog owner

How to tell you are a French Bulldog owner
 01. Dog food research
As you probably know, French Bulldogs are quite the little princesses when it comes to food department. Oh, don’t get me wrong, they are choosey as an average pig and have no problem stuffing themselves with all kind of junk food, but they tend to have sensitive digestive system and certain types of food can irritate their stomach, cause skin allergies and many, many gases. Therefore, in order to prevent your beloved pet from becoming a rash covered stinky fart machine, you will most likely spend hours on the internet learning about their proper diet. In fact, you will dedicate more attention to your dog’s food than your own meals, but when you look at his dumb adorable face, you realize they he is worth it!


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02. The farts
Sounds like the name of a goofy teenage band, right? It doesn’t? Never mind, here is the point… French Bulldog’s anal acoustics is just part of their charm, along with their smushed in faces, snorting and generally clownish behavior. In time, you not only get used to it, but you become fond of it. It never stops being funny when they do it. Sometimes they fart so loud, they even shock themselves and their “was that me!?” confused face expressions are priceless! The only thing not so adorable about it is the smell and you can handle that with proper diet… Next!


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03. The burping
Remember that episode of “That ‘70s show” when Kitty wants another baby and Red says “Oh, no! Couldn’t we just stop flushing instead?”. Well, it is sort of like that. Burping is also sweet, but many times when they do it, they have actually puked in their mouth. You may even hear chewing and licking sounds as they wonder, “How did that get here? Never-mind, Mmmm- yummy!” On many occasions, what started as a burp ended as puke on the floor, so you have to pick it up and wipe it off. Forget having a baby, that is so passé! Just get a Frenchie, the joy of cleaning is almost the same.


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04. It is not a Pug, you ignorant!
People on the street sometimes may confuse Your French Buldog for a Boston Terrier or a Pug. Ok, that is their problem, but much more irritating are the arrogant bastards who think they know better than you and start claiming your dog has a mixed origin and is not 100 % Frenchie. Well, mind your own business or get the facts clear! Yes, there are some common features, but there are quite enough differences. Look at the ears, the noose and the built, are you blind? If you can’t tell the difference, find the pictures on the internet and shut your smart ass pie hole!


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05. You start melting from sweetness when you see another Frenchie
Frenchies are among the cutest dogs in the Universe and people get attached to them very easily. They are the masters of charm and once you become a proud French Bulldog owner, they will always have a special place in your heart. One of the symptoms is that you will never miss another Frenchie or Frenchie-looging dog on the street and even stare at him, admire him, cuddle him or try to make them best friends with your dog. Hell, you will want to marry them and make a big fancy dog wedding. If you see a French Bulldog puppy or even a whole bunch of them, you will probably immediately start farting rainbow and little pink hearts will come out once you open your mouth.


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06. The strangers on the street
Beautiful, healthy and playful French Buldog is pride and joy of every owner and we appreciate that other people share our opinion and affection for these adorable, heart-warming creatures. We completely understand that the overwhelming  urge to stop, hold, and cuddle them is uncontrollable, for reasons mentioned before, but please, you need to learn some manners! First, it just might be the case that we have somewhere to be and don’t have time for this and second, not all dogs are stranger-friendly, so you should always ask for permission! Ok? And thank you for loving our dogs!


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07. How do you spell Frenchie?
Well, I don’t know, ask the French? Just kidding, they are actually from England and if you have dilemmas about spelling it properly, you can always consult Google or YouTube. If you want no dilemmas or mistakes, just stick with French Bulldog, that is never wrong!


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08. Stretching in the morning
Experts say if you want to know what is natural and good for your health- just observe what the animals do. And what is the first thin cats and dogs do when they wake up? Stretching! Billions of studies have shown yoga is good for your mental and physical wellbeing. Animals are much better fitness instructors than we give them credit for and when was the last time you saw a grumpy, unsatisfied dog?


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09. You are hooked, addicted and want more!
Yes, all dogs demand care, attention, and French Bulldogs even more, because of the health challenges they are prone to. But somehow, none of that matters when they look up at you with those loving eyes, wake you up with that cute snout, give you unconditional love and make you laugh hysterically with their clumsy moves and clownish gymnastics. There won’t be long before you want another one just like that. It’s an addiction! If you have doubts, just look at all the famous people with French Buldogs. What, you think Leonardo DiCaprio, Christina Ricci, Hugh Jackman and many, many others are stupid? No, my friend. Once you get your own Frenchie, you will know true happiness and you will take him with you any place you go!


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